The Slayer Chronicle (the_chron) wrote in slayer_tales,
The Slayer Chronicle
the_chron
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Reporter Profiles, Part I

BY CONCETTA MARIANNA LUCIA ZACCARDI

This special feature is brought to you by the second anniversary of slayer_tales. We thought our readers might enjoy a glimpse into the varied and sundry personalities of our Chronicle reporters.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com Tawny Sinclair has been with the Chronicle for the past two years. She hails from Intercourse, PA, where she grew up on a duck farm in Amish country. She moved to Los Angeles as an aspiring actress/model and after several unfortunate experiences with the casting couch, came to work for us here in Sunnydale where she spends most of her time in the copy room with the male reporters -- I fail to see the distinction somehow, but that's just me..

Fun Facts
Real First Name: Hilda
Favorite Saying: "Whatever, when's break time again?"
Future Career Aspiration: Hand model for QVC

Image hosted by Photobucket.com Barbie Johnston has been with the Chronicle for the past ten months. She was born and raised in Louisville, KY as a minister's daughter. At the tender age of seventeen she began working at the OctoPussy, a local strip club, and was disowned from her family. She made her way across the country to California with dreams of adult-film stardom; however, after being cast in such gems as 'Hot Chicks With Chainsaws' and 'The Sumo Wrestler's First Gang-Bang', she reconsidered her career path and joined our staff at the Chronicle. Yes, she certainly likes staffs. *cough* She continues to moonlight at the Solid Plutonium Club in L.A.

Fun Facts
Favorite Food: Water and rice cakes (she's kidding, right?)
First Kiss: Age 7, Tommy Bryson behind the church fellowship hall
Most Recent Kiss: Ten minutes ago, D'Angelo in the copy room

Image hosted by Photobucket.com D'Angelo Tyrone Brown is the most recent addition to our illustrious staff; he has been in the Chronicle's employ for three months. He grew up in the 'hood of Detroit, MI, where he was the youngest son in a family of seventeen children. He dropped out of school at the age of twelve and was first arrested at age fourteen for stealing a car and hanging pink and black fuzzy dice over the rearview mirror. We're not certain if the arrest was for the grand theft auto or the dice, and the only comment D'Angelo will make on the matter is "Fo'sheezy, word up, yo!" He is the self-proclaimed "pimp daddy" of the Chronicle staff and if there's a woman here he hasn't slept with, I'm not sure who that'd be, and his literary efforts continue to delight us although most of the time we have no clue what he's talking about.

Fun Facts
Pounds of Gold Worn Around Neck: Ten
Number of Tattoos: Eighteen that are visible (do NOT ask about the ones that aren't visible, but I hear there are at least four more of those. Just hearsay you understand. Not that I've seen them for myself or anything. Nope. Nuh-uh. No way. Didn't happen and anyone who says it did is lying.)

Kent Clarkson has been the Chronicle's investigative reporter since June 2003. In that time, he has broken several key stories for the Chronicle. He...umm...well, he gets up promptly at 6:45 each morning and dutifully eats a bowl of fruit and a bran muffin before heading to work. He's never been late, nor does he make typos. And to the best of our knowledge, he doesn't even own so much as a pair of roller skates. We don't really know how he gets the stories he does. It kind of freaks us out. We stay away from him as much as possible. He's so bland it's frightening.

Fun Facts
Favorite Food: rhubarb pie
Hobbies: stamp collecting, bird-watching, and making rubber band balls
Favorite Word: "swell"

Well! We hope you've enjoyed this special second anniversary feature. Ta! I have an appointment in the copy room.
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